The dictionary definition of overwhelm is “bury or drown beneath a huge mass of something, especially water or sand”
And this is how it can feel when we are emotionally overwhelmed. It is a state of being overcome by intense emotion(s) that make it difficult to cope in life. It can affect your ability to think and act rationally.
It is sometimes difficult to pinpoint why we feel overwhelmed as there are often many factors causing the stress.
Signs of being overwhelmed are:
A feeling of being unable to cope with even small tasks and moving from one thing to another without actually completing anything.
A feeling of exhaustion - too exhausted to actually do anything useful
Engaging in avoiding/delaying behaviours and being unable to even start on a task that might be challenging
Withdrawing from family and/or friends – to avoid exposure or judgment
The intensity of the reaction you are feeling does not match the experience. For example panicking when someone is a few minutes late or experiencing intense reaction to bumping into the desk.
You might find yourself lying or making excuses for your inability to do minor tasks
A feeling of tension and anxiousness because we recognise we are stuck and unable to move out of the drowning feeling
What can cause overwhelm?
Being disconnected from our body and feelings
Not being fully present to what’s going around us
Surviving a shock, traumatic incident or loss of someone close.
A series of smaller difficult experiences which happen consecutively resulting in there being a “last straw” that tips us into an overwhelmed state.
Feeling powerless to change things such as financial insecurity, relationship problems and time pressure.
Persistent work pressure
A history of trauma, abuse or neglect can leave us feeling disconnected and unable to cope with life
Change/loss of the familiar such as moving to a new house, job, town, having a baby, getting divorced, as we are beset by a feeling of not knowing how to move forward because what was familiar has changed
Overwhelm and Body Connection
If we have had a history of trauma, abuse and/or neglect, we are more likely to have disconnected from our body, to avoid feeling the trauma. This can make us more susceptible later on in life, to feeling overwhelmed by things that might not cause others to feel this way under similar circumstances. Try to remember that you were unlikely to have been born overwhelmed and the feelings are a response to what is going on around you.
The Neurochemisry of Overwhelm
Our physical body is impacted by overwhelming emotions such as anxiety, fear, despair, anger and releases cortisol which is a stress hormone. The surge of cortisol leaves us overloaded with anxiety but we do not act on this but, because of the overwhelmed state, remain frozen. As more cortisol is released to try and combat the anxiety and impulse action, the serotonin stores get depleted. Serotonin supports the alleviation of feelings of depression and anxiety. The combined effect of increased cortisol and decreasing serotonin results in feelings of despair and hopelessness which perpetuate the overwhelm.
How to deal with overwhelm without medication
It can be very helpful to seek support of a counsellor or program that can support you to come back into connection with your body.
Try to accept that you are overwhelmed. Sometimes we feel shame at not being able to cope and this can make us resist the acceptance.
Look after yourself – ask yourself what you need and then provide the self-care required.
Self-care can be immediate as in What do I need right now? It can also be a longer term program of self-care going forward: eating well, sleep hygiene, regular gentle exercise and witnessing and regulating your energetic state of being.
Changing our movements can be helpful. This could be paying attention to our breath and breathing more deeply, going outside for a walk and focussing on the movements of walking.
Narrating your movements – saying out loud what you are doing can be helpful if you are feeling like you are disappearing.
Ground yourself – feel you feet pressing into the floor
Listen to an audio that supports reconnecting to your body
It can also be useful to read information about trauma and body connection. Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine, The Body keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk and Benjamin Fry’s The Invisible Lion all provide great information about the impact on the body of trauma, abuse or neglect.